Bringing kids into worship isn't doing what you think it is
Second in a series of Andy Root inspired posts
Over the last several years, from my perspective within the Mainline Protestant context at least, there has been an increased emphasis on making space for children within worship, especially making kid-specific play/craft/explore areas within the worship space/sanctuary. For instance, at the last General Assembly of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), there was a large play area for young children. While I understand the motivation behind such an effort, I think it ultimately misses the point.
First, let me say that I understand the motivation: including children in worship, allowing families to be together, and not breaking up the body of Christ via age-specific learning. Sure, this is all fine and good, I guess. Personally, I don’t want my kids to be present. I’d rather they learn about the Bible and Jesus with age-appropriate instruction. And, I’d rather not deal with the distraction. I’m there to engage spiritually myself in the teaching, preaching, and worship.
Which leads me to the crux of the issue. I think there’s this idea that if we “train” kids to be in worship when they are young, they won’t “graduate” from church when they leave high school or go to college. Sure, there is something to be said of the importance of behavior and habit formation. The first Sunday after my new church start closed, I took my kids to church because I wanted to impress upon them (and myself) the importance of being in church.
But, and I want to emphasize this, it really reminds me of my time in fundamentalism. Behavior modification doesn’t lead to personal transformation. Trust me, there are hundreds of thousands of people who grew up in similar contexts to myself who were taught to “behave” the right way, but now are out of church because they never personally connected with God in church in a meaningful way. I’m sort of an example myself.
The problem with kids “graduating” church is they we’ve built children’s and youth ministry around it being fun, hip, and cool rather than focused on helping young people encounter God. It’s no wonder young people leave church after they age out of youth or college ministries. When such ministries are about being fun, hip, and cool—worship in the sanctuary (especially in Mainline churches) is anything but that. To draw again on Andy Root’s thinking, the fun, hip, cool ministry philosophy is a cultural accommodation to the “speed/acceleration” obsession in our modern context.
What if instead, we helped kids learn how to encounter God,1 teaching them spiritual practices, prayer, etc. One of Root’s essential points from The Congregation in a Secular Age is that all this hip and cool slash speed/acceleration obsession really just distracts us from experiencing and encountering God.2
What’s kept me in church is that I believe something profound happens when we gather in community to worship God. Root calls it “resonance.”3 In giving and receiving communion, in hearing the Bible read aloud, in prayer and testimony, in preaching, in communal singing, resonance can be found. These moments can be for me profound and even overwhelming. For reasons I can’t even fully explain, walking up open handed, to receive the communion elements, brings me nearly to tears. It’s a resonance I cannot explain—but keeps bringing me back.
If kids, young people, and adults experienced—or at least heard from others—that they could experience and encounter God in Sunday morning worship (or Bible study, or prayer group, etc.), they’d be knocking the doors down to get in to our worship spaces/sanctuaries.
So, sure, there’s nothing inherently wrong with making space for kids in worship. At the end of the day, at best I just don’t think it’s really accomplishing what we want it to, and at worst I think it may be further diminishing the ability of adults and others to experience and encounter God during the worship time.
And adults too, but that’s another blog.
Root. The Congregation in a Secular Age. 142.
See Root’s Churches and the Crisis of Decline.