Enneagram Baseball Team Lineup

The other day, I was watching baseball while thinking about the Enneagram (as one does), and a question crossed my mind: What position would each Enneagram type play on a baseball team? As an Enneagram 5, I naturally saw myself as a starting pitcher. As an introvert, the idea of having four days off to chill sounds glorious, plus I’d enjoy doing the deep research into how to get each guy on the opposing team out.

A closer? Definitely an Enneagram 8. From there, I asked ChatGPT to help me round out the rest of the lineup. I think the results are pretty spot-on. To take it a step further, I added real players—each one from my lifetime—who I think embody the spirit of each number. I don’t know what this has to do with church, but it was fun to think about.

⚾️ Enneagram Baseball Team Lineup

1 – The Reformer
Position: Second Baseman - DJ LeMahieu¹
Why? They're precise, reliable, and always turning the double play exactly how it's drawn up in the manual. Probably corrects the ump on strike zone inconsistencies... politely.

2 – The Helper
Position: Utility Player - Ben Zobrist²
Why? Will play any position you need, carries extra sunflower seeds for the team, and remembers everyone’s birthday. Might offer to warm up the bullpen catcher “just in case.”

3 – The Achiever
Position: Shortstop - Derek Jeter³
Why? Flashy, confident, and wants to win Gold Gloves and endorsement deals. Always Instagramming their pre-game stretches. Yes, they slid headfirst just to look cool.

4 – The Individualist
Position: Designated Hitter - David “Big Papi” Ortiz⁴
Why? Moody. Artistic. Hits majestic, emotional home runs and then stares at the sky. Refuses to wear matching socks.

5 – The Investigator
Position: Starting Pitcher - Zack Greinke⁵
Why? Master of the scouting report. Probably has a spreadsheet for every batter’s weaknesses and has been perfecting their grip on the circle change since 8th grade.

6 – The Loyalist
Position: Catcher - Joe Girardi⁶
Why? The glue of the team. Knows every pitch, backs up every base, and has contingency plans for the bullpen collapsing. Brings snacks and an emergency rain-delay playlist.

7 – The Enthusiast
Position: Center Fielder - Ken Griffey Jr. “The Kid”⁷
Why? Covers an insane amount of ground and is always smiling. Starts dance parties during rain delays. Might forget how many outs there are, but it’s okay—they’re fun.

8 – The Challenger
Position: Closer - Mitch “Wild Thing” Williams⁸
Why? Marches in to “Enter Sandman.” Intimidates batters with eye contact alone. Probably gets ejected once a season for fighting a dugout bench. Fearless, powerful, terrifying.

9 – The Peacemaker
Position: First Baseman - Freddie Freeman⁹
Why? Chill, steady, and everyone's best friend. Keeps pitchers calm, breaks up fights, and somehow never looks stressed even in extra innings. Also: best hugs on the team.

Any positions or Enneagram matches you’d push back on?

Which players would you swap in based on your own read?

1. This position was the hardest to pick, which makes sense. These guys just quietly just do their job—well. Gary Sanchez once called LeMahieu “The Machine.”

2. Maybe Mark DeRosa here too? I’d guess if you’re playing all these positions to stay in the league, you’ve got to be able to get along well with others.

3. A-Rod could probably fit here too, as he was obsessed with appearance.

4. Barry Bonds seems a good candidate, but he played before the NL instituted the DH and was technically an outfielder.

5. Have you heard the Zack Greinke “cat story?” https://www.sportskeeda.com/baseball/news-you-trust-anyone-likes-cats-yeah-man-really-can-t-i-ve-got-cat-though-shortstop-nicky-lopez-shares-hilarious-story-zack-greinke-adding-legend-royals-ace

6. I honestly think many catchers could go here. Salvy Perez comes to mind as a current player.

7. I had Mike Cameron here first. Thankfully I remembered the legend Griffey who fits this role perfectly.

8. Craig Krimbrel another good option.

9. Freddie just seems friendly because of his name. Though I still wish he hadn’t crushed the Yankees pitching in the World Series.